Goblin Talk

A random, short format, variety show goblin podcast

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goblin-debateTonight, at 8pm Eastern Goblin Time, Wedji & Gandersnitch face off in a debate of epic proportions! Who will emerge victorious? Who shall dominate the political landscape for the next five minutes?Moderated by the only man mad enough to attempt the task, world renowned comedian and juggler, Paolo Garbanzo! Tune in live, and ask your questions on the air @ www.mixlr.com/gandersnitch




What’s this? Somebody figured out how to hack the internet airways and hijack the signals and extrapolate the thingamajigs and has no idea what we are even talking about? Heck yeah!

Goblin Talk is going LIVE! That’s right, we are going to broadcast unrehearsed, unedited, and censor free! It might even not entirely suck! And you can be there, in the comfort of your own home, wearing whatever you want, listening in and commenting to your heart’s content on Facebook!

So check it out, click the link, do the thing, enjoy the show!


News , Podcast

Photo by Steve Parke Photography

So Wedji went to get a cup of coffee… and stuff happened. It’s all better now and we are back, louder than ever! In the first episode of Goblin Talk Season 2 we discuss the biological engineering, the politics of immigration, advances in the culinary arts, and the upcoming Broadway season! You don’t want to miss it! It is pretty dang amazing!



shk5kI think this one is pretty much self explanatory. I mean, who else were you planning on wasting your vote on? Oh, yeah. Other stuff too. Important stuff. Give it a listen, and you will see what I mean.


Campaign Music: “Five Armies” Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0


11257837_10152956845592523_8863375340674320339_nDeep in the woods of the New York Faerie Festival, where no one could hear her scream, Wedji TuCheeks made yet another attempt at a solo music career. Thankfully, nobody will ever see this video. I have packed it away in a cardboard box, labeled it as “Free Rabid Wolverines”, and dropped it in the river. The world shall be spared the horrors of Goblin Rock. You can thank me later.



Hey guys! I found a box in the river labeled “Free Wolverines”. Stupid box! There were no wolverines… But check out this cool video I found inside!



It should of be no surprise to anyone, anymore, that humans seem to place a strange importance on the color of one’s skin. This leads to strife, and turmoil, and bloody chaos; which honestly, we are all for, in the right context. But recent events have really started to get out of hand. So we are here to say:  Please, think of the GOBLINS!

It is true, we are oppressed all the friggen time! And it is always over the same silly things you humans are abusing each other for. The color of our skin, the length of our noses, the strange things we eat, our violent destructive tendancies, or that one time we accidentally “borrowed” a child that was already spoken for…

I mean, really, if you don’t want someone to take the baby just lying there sleeping, swaddled in a blanket, secure in it’s playpen, with the front doors locked, the dog on guard, and the alarm system turned on—JUST LEAVE A FRIGGEN NOTE! Seriously, if he was that important to you, why is it so hard to take a few precautions to ensure his safety. Sheesh…

Anyhow, Wedji TuCheeks decided to hit the mean streets of Baltimore to put an end to this oppressive nonsense once and for all. It is time for some Goblin Outreach, the key to combating the stigma in the communities where we live and work. Or at the very least, transferring it over to the trolls. Really, if you want to oppress someone, they are ripe for the position and too dumb to even realize it is happening. As we always say, Trolls Drool & Goblins Rule!

So go Green! (ish… Brown. Yeah, go brown. Green is kinda gross.)




wedjiflies Over the weekend, Mab’s facebook account was turned back on, granting her access to the site again, and to her professional pages (like Wedji TuCheeks and Goblin Talk).  She did not receive any sort of official “You are all good now.” notice from facebook or anything, and certainly not an apology, so we wanted to wait till today to see if it was for real or just a glitch of the code.

She is still there today, so we are going to take it as a real thing! And it is all because of you!

The outpouring of support was absolutely amazing, and helped her cope with the fact that she had been effectively cut off from the most important social media tool that she uses. No matter what anyone says about expecting nothing for free – it is a terrible thing to have your voice, and your online identity, suddenly silenced.

We don’t know what it was that changed their minds. Personally, I think it was the over 20,000 people who saw the initial post on facebook, and the hordes of folks who reached out for accountability from FB on twitter, and the 7,000 people who came here to the Goblintalk.com website to read about what was going on. It was the fact that people cared enough about this injustice, granted a small one compared to all the other troubles in the world, but that they cared enough about Mab to spread the word and say “This is NOT right!”

By doing this, just a simple act of sharing, Mab’s story spread to reporters, facebook employees, and people who had gone through this same crap in October of last year. Even though her voice had been taken away by the absurd policy, people took up the call and kept it going. And her story was heard.

Thank you all, so very much, for making that happen! You rock!

Now, uhm… who gets to tell Azog he has to give Wedji her co-host job back?



OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA We were planning a fabulous one year anniversary episode. It was going to be so awesome that we kept planning and planning and we actually did do a tiny bit of recording as well. And then, this crap happened! Mab Just Mab (and by extension Wedji TuCheeks) was banned from facebook and thus cease to exist.

So instead of celebrating, Azog and Gandersnitch must eulogize. We are not very good at eulogies. Seriously. Please let us have Wedji back.

We are amazed that more than15,000 people have now seen our post and over 5,000 have come to this web site to read more. And thank you all for the outpouring of support. Mab is pursuing official facebook channels (and has been rejected through official facebook channels 3 times now, with demands for the exact identification she has sent them three times over), but the word is that something like this can take months to reverse through normal channels, if ever at all. That is why generating a buzz is so important. And holy crap, you folks are buzzing! (If only we could find a way to make honey from all these bees.)

Please continue to share the original blog post: http://www.goblintalk.com/2015/03/mab-just-mab-aka-wedji-booted-off-facebook/

And the twitter post: Reinstate on facebook! Mab, Just Mab! Please Retweet!

And most importantly, sign the petition (a new one we were directed to): https://www.change.org/p/facebook-allow-performers-to-use-their-stage-names-on-their-facebook-accounts
Thank you!

Gandersnitch, Azog, and the ghost of Wedji


As some might know, I currently reside in a house. Not the whole house mind you, but I do have the top of one closet, the shelf in another, about 1/3rd of the attic, and the entire liquor cabinet. More than enough real estate for one such as I, but only because the liquor cabinet is not a cabinet at all, but is in fact one of those fancy globe bars that opens up to reveal the secrets inside. Glassware, a tiny bottle of rum, and some really nasty blackberry schnapps.

Normally, residing in this house is fabulous. Especially when it is -16 degrees outside. However, when the power goes off at 5am, and thus the heat, it doesn’t matter at those temperatures whether you are inside or out. It is damn cold through and through. Compound this with the fact that once I finally crawled out of bed, there was no electricity for the toaster.

So I made floppy cold toast, also known as bread, and topped it with what I assumed would be a brilliant mixture of cream cheese and dandelion jelly. It was not as appetizing as I had imagined it would be. I blame this entirely on the cold floppy toast.

But it got me thinking. What in the hell is cream cheese anyways? It is certainly unlike any cheese I have ever encountered before. Is it even bloody cheese? Is it the leftover crap nobody wants when people make actual cheese? Should it be consumed in any raw state, or must it be further processed into cheese-cake?

My brief stint of research, all five minutes of it, turned up this little fact: Early prototypes of cream cheese were referenced in England as early as 1583 (wikipedia)

Well folks, they should have stopped then and there and moved on to making bacon and beer. This stuff is nasty! It is runny or all dried up and crusty, with no middle ground. It absolutely does not work on pizza, and only an idiot would put it on a hot dog. Therefore, it is not cheese in my book at all. It is white milky goo that lacks any of the finer qualities of a good cheese. Don’t even offer it to me unless you have taken the effort to bake it into cheese cake. And no, putting it on a bagel does not make it all better. People put mashed up fish on bagels for crying out loud!

Crap. Utter crap! Even with dandelion jelly.
I should know, I ate it!

Gandersnitch Rants