Goblin Talk

A random, short format, variety show goblin podcast

It should of be no surprise to anyone, anymore, that humans seem to place a strange importance on the color of one’s skin. This leads to strife, and turmoil, and bloody chaos; which honestly, we are all for, in the right context. But recent events have really started to get out of hand. So we are here to say:  Please, think of the GOBLINS!

It is true, we are oppressed all the friggen time! And it is always over the same silly things you humans are abusing each other for. The color of our skin, the length of our noses, the strange things we eat, our violent destructive tendancies, or that one time we accidentally “borrowed” a child that was already spoken for…

I mean, really, if you don’t want someone to take the baby just lying there sleeping, swaddled in a blanket, secure in it’s playpen, with the front doors locked, the dog on guard, and the alarm system turned on—JUST LEAVE A FRIGGEN NOTE! Seriously, if he was that important to you, why is it so hard to take a few precautions to ensure his safety. Sheesh…

Anyhow, Wedji TuCheeks decided to hit the mean streets of Baltimore to put an end to this oppressive nonsense once and for all. It is time for some Goblin Outreach, the key to combating the stigma in the communities where we live and work. Or at the very least, transferring it over to the trolls. Really, if you want to oppress someone, they are ripe for the position and too dumb to even realize it is happening. As we always say, Trolls Drool & Goblins Rule!

So go Green! (ish… Brown. Yeah, go brown. Green is kinda gross.)

-G

 

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10433895_10203509508672762_2895839784866998352_nHappy Holidays everyone! In our final episode of 2014, we discuss all the Winter Holidays, the War on Xmas, what to get Wedji as a gift, and our favorite Christmas carol. Enjoy!

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10514666_797254986993756_5805913631133398146_nWelcome to our very special Thanksgiving Episode, with the fabulous Dawn Hunt of Cucina Aurora Kitchen Witchery! In this episode we talk about food, oil, farts, popcorn, parades, children’s books, Italians, and being thankful. We even let Azog chime in! It is extra long, but you have the time off anyways, so enjoy!
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Photo Credit: Cat Eicke Spoutwood Farms - 2014

Photo Credit: Cat Eicke
Spoutwood Farms – 2014

On this week’s program, we were supposed to interview Wotan the Faerie Smasher. It was going to be great… Only, where the heck is he? It doesn’t matter. We recorded an episode anyways!

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535234_10150838020851871_1915687206_nToday is National Podcast Day, so we felt a celebratory episode of complete awesomeness was in store. That and it is officially our 20th episode. So, enjoy! I know we will.

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529896_498809720157990_1990733837_n It has been a crazy month, with Gandersnitch running a kickstarter (Thank you, by the way, that was wildly succesful) and going to GenCon, and now with Wedji incognito at DragonCon, so we did not actually forget to do a podcast or two, we just did not have the time to sit down and do it. But we did finally catch up with our good friend and official-former-Ringling Bros. Rock & Roll Clown, Crickett to get the full scoop on the circus, being a clown, and where not to go to the bathroom. This is an extra long episode, 30 minutes in total, in which you get the ENTIRE interview, minus the 5 minutes in which Crickett sat wheezing and gasping with laughter at Wedji’s pie recipes. Here, however, is a safe one for Banana Cream Pie. Enjoy!

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Gandersnitch the Goblin wrote a book! And it is a pretty swell book. Full of murder, and mayhem, and goblin philosophy, and queens flicking boogers, and one night stands, and evil spells, and whiskey (a little bit even spilled on the pages as he was writing, what a waste!). And you can get a copy!

Well, you can get a copy once he hits the kickstarter goal to have it printed. Until then, it resides safely in an un-smashable chest under Azog’s bed. Cause it turns out that editing and printing a book (and recording an audio cd of the book) takes a bit of capital. We tried paying with teeth… It didn’t work. And no, we don’t know what happened to the tooth fairy! Don’t ask us! We never saw her!

Anyways, check out the kickstarter. Laugh at the video. Drool over the awesome rewards. Get your book. Share with your friends. And show your love and appreciate for GOBLINS! And here is a little secret just for you – once we raise 50% of the necessary funds, there will be another video going up. The outtakes one. And it is so funny that Posie is going to pee in her pants watching it!

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wedji & oncaSo we were there, in the woods, at NYFF, and someone handed Wedji a microphone. Big mistake! Though, it did encourage her to put down the megaphone. We had a dedicated few audience members camped out, determined to get the good seats. But Gandersnitch wanted more! So he walked the grounds, whooping and hollering for one an all to come and listen to the best thing that had happened thus far all day! (We were the first thing to happen that day, but it doesn’t really matter.) Then Paolo Garbonzo (Professional Jester) and Onça O’Leary (The Hardest Working Woman in Showbiz) took pity on us, having no clue what we were all about, and sat down in the wrong seats. The ones reserved for special guests! So we put them on the spot, checked for spots, and things went a bit wacky from there. Lots of laughter, live in the woods, and a little girl with the propensity for pushing just the right buttons and completely the wrong time. It’s Goblin Talk Live! 30 minutes long! Uncut and out of control!

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10329784_10152534011922803_601214107319158217_oOver the next week, faeries, goblins, trolls, imps, ambassadors, artists, musicians, craftspeople, poets, patrons, and all sorts of wonderful and mythic things will converge on a secluded spot of woodlands draped magically over the hills beside a winding creek in the hamlet of Ouaquaga, NY for the NY Faerie Festival. And it is going to be amazing, as it has been year after year.

With Wedji, and Azog, and Gandersnitch and all of our strange magical friends, plus musical guests Frenchy & the Punk, Woodland, Jessica Star, Gandalf Murphey and the Grand Slambovians, and all sorts of other incredible talent as well.

They have a new road to the campsite, to help alleviate last year’s challenges with carriages stuck in the mud, “secret” musical revelries in the woods after sunset, and of course out favorite: Sparkle Chai! The Goblin Embassy will be there, and the Troll tribe with their bridge, and Gandersnitch’s Tea Parties, and the Elfchess Tri-Realm Championships! Listen to the episode, which will give you a taste of the vision of the festival, but don’t forget to buy your tickets and come to the party! Seriously, this is one you do not want to miss.

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nosepicking It is that time of year again! Birds are singing, grass is growing, rains are falling, and we have 4 more days till Spoutwood Farms Mayday Faerie Festival… Crap! We have only four more days till our first Faerie Festival, and then MDFF right after that! So much to do, so much to pack! Stay cool Wedji, stay cool.

So, here it is – our Faerie Festival Frenzy, lets all get revved up and excited for the weekend, extra special, uber-important, bet you all weren’t even expecting one this week but we did it because we love you anyways and you all deserve the best goblinyness we can give, episode of awesomeness! In which: Gandersnitch the Goblin loses his voice, we recap almost everything there is to do at the festivals, Wedji and Azog give the goblin rules for being in public, and Raven finally clues our listeners in on the complete rules of Elfchess!

Give it a listen, and we will see you this weekend!

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