Goblin Talk

A random, short format, variety show goblin podcast

It should of be no surprise to anyone, anymore, that humans seem to place a strange importance on the color of one’s skin. This leads to strife, and turmoil, and bloody chaos; which honestly, we are all for, in the right context. But recent events have really started to get out of hand. So we are here to say:  Please, think of the GOBLINS!

It is true, we are oppressed all the friggen time! And it is always over the same silly things you humans are abusing each other for. The color of our skin, the length of our noses, the strange things we eat, our violent destructive tendancies, or that one time we accidentally “borrowed” a child that was already spoken for…

I mean, really, if you don’t want someone to take the baby just lying there sleeping, swaddled in a blanket, secure in it’s playpen, with the front doors locked, the dog on guard, and the alarm system turned on—JUST LEAVE A FRIGGEN NOTE! Seriously, if he was that important to you, why is it so hard to take a few precautions to ensure his safety. Sheesh…

Anyhow, Wedji TuCheeks decided to hit the mean streets of Baltimore to put an end to this oppressive nonsense once and for all. It is time for some Goblin Outreach, the key to combating the stigma in the communities where we live and work. Or at the very least, transferring it over to the trolls. Really, if you want to oppress someone, they are ripe for the position and too dumb to even realize it is happening. As we always say, Trolls Drool & Goblins Rule!

So go Green! (ish… Brown. Yeah, go brown. Green is kinda gross.)




We were planning a huge hoopla for our one year anniversary of Goblin Talk… But Wedji, the excitable and overly enthusiastic problem child that she is, kept mucking everything up. I figured she could at the very least handle investigating our first pick for caterers at the Dagorhir Feast of Weirdos. It seems she and Azog took the assignment a bit too literally, and actually decided to become investigative reporters for the day. So while we prepare for the Ultimate Episode of Goblin Talk Supreme Brilliance and Complete Awesomeness arranged by Gandersnitch the Goblin… I give you something that Wedji did instead. It is alright. I mean, you will never get these five minutes of your life back, but you were just trolling facebook anyways. (Ok. I lied. It is pretty damn funny. Good Job, Wedji! Azog, put the chainsaw down.)


Gandersnitch the Goblin wrote a book! And it is a pretty swell book. Full of murder, and mayhem, and goblin philosophy, and queens flicking boogers, and one night stands, and evil spells, and whiskey (a little bit even spilled on the pages as he was writing, what a waste!). And you can get a copy!

Well, you can get a copy once he hits the kickstarter goal to have it printed. Until then, it resides safely in an un-smashable chest under Azog’s bed. Cause it turns out that editing and printing a book (and recording an audio cd of the book) takes a bit of capital. We tried paying with teeth… It didn’t work. And no, we don’t know what happened to the tooth fairy! Don’t ask us! We never saw her!

Anyways, check out the kickstarter. Laugh at the video. Drool over the awesome rewards. Get your book. Share with your friends. And show your love and appreciate for GOBLINS! And here is a little secret just for you – once we raise 50% of the necessary funds, there will be another video going up. The outtakes one. And it is so funny that Posie is going to pee in her pants watching it!